f you listen to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the topic will 

always turn to MEN. In most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard it is

 to find good men to date... Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general...

...And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.

The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and characteristics 

that they HATE in single guys. Did you know this? I didn't think so. Well, the truth is that up until a

 few years ago, I didn't know this either. So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something

 that most men on this planet will DIE not knowing. My hope is that what I'm about to share with you

 will change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds 

of women you're interested in. 



FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE

For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.

One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens. Remember that. One CAN lead to another,

 but it's RARE. "Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships. While most men

 would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would

 NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just friends". But why is this? How do women differentiate

between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"? And why is it so hard to become "more than friends"

 with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long time? The answer to this riddle is very interesting

 to me. I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they want to "be

 intimate" with a man... and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T 

want to "be intimate" with a man... The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material 

or "lover" material is how she FEELS. It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.

It is NOT logic. She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like she

has a good reason for either "being with" or "not being with" a particular guy. But don't let that distract you.

Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context. So let me say this another way. A woman FEELS something

emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with 

a particular guy. If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably not be that 

she wants to date the guy in question. If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical"

conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point

 she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts... It goes like this: FEEL--->THINK--->ACT

First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action. Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an

important question: How do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in?

And another: What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with them?

Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen handy. I'm serious. I'll wait.

Come back when you're finished. Now take a look at your list. I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list

 was something "external". In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give 

her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call her often". These are all things that demonstrate that he's

 INTERESTED. They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell

 her that THIS IS THE GUY. In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S

 INTERESTED... ...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him.

Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to

 "Attraction" and "Arousal". Of course, you know this. You've probably done this stuff about a bazillion times.

 I have, too. I know what it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm interested... 

only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way. The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes 

TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once. First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that

 you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU. In the moment it sure seems to make sense... 

"If I show her how I feel, she'll return the feelings". Duh. Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the

 moment (when your inner little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her feelings for you.

And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip 

to what's going... and it kills your chances with her. Say what?

You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with 

a woman? Yea, it can. Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday comes... 

it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with her. YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.

But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.

Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to 

compensate for the fact that you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not 

screwed, as the case may be). Remember what I'm about to tell you. Burn it into your mind.

Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...

SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND
THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.

Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" over and over and over.

The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you.

The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a totally different road to get where you're going...


WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...

Let's return to where we started. There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.

One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS. A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman. Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:


1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.

It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.

Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control...

and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval".

But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".

Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative. Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.! “HATE IT” I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.

Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with women. More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.


2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite... This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".

Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store.

Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.

If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.

He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.

And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.

"Do you think I'm interesting?" "Do you think we could ever have a relationship?" "Am I your type?"

Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY.


3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead

Women have WUSS-DAR.

One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.

The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.

So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.

He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.

So what does he do? He ASKS for them! 

He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that sound?".

Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to say".

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

Men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.

They HATE IT!


4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language

There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures, comments, and mannerisms... 

The term is "NICE".

"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."

This is one of those areas that's not easy to talk about.

Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain.

It's like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in life if they stay wet.

The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in the first place. But let me try. This is important.

Go spend a day observing couples. Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.

Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever. Now watch the GUYS. Watch how they lean towards the women.

Watch how they raise their eyebrows in exaggerated response to women's comments.

Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly at whatever the women say.

If you're close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with a voice tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying to be extra nice to compensate for it".

You'll see it EVERYWHERE.

In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll probably write me back to tell me that I'm the one who's crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be "the right way".

Well, it's not.

If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.

It all happens in an INSTANT.

Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read and interpret the cover of Playboy.

NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.

I'd say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves with women because of this problem.

Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS.

They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable and "not being themselves".

And you guessed it...

Single women HATE IT!


5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man

I'm about to get philosophical, so be cool.

When it comes down to it, most men don't understand women.

But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN, either!

Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.

Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger ATTRACTION in women.

Women have a "nature". A female nature. Men also have a "nature". You guessed it, it's a MALE nature.

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They love anticipation. They love to  "let a guy catch them"...

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things, and rule their territory.

Well guess what?

Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in the presence of a woman that they "like".

And since most men don't understand female human nature, they don't demonstrate that they "get it" when they're with women that they "like".

Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.

When you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's not attractive...

And single women HATE IT!


6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a "core belief" that goes like this:

"I don't believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because she enjoys my presence... 

so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things that I hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those other

 things enough, then maybe she'll want to spend more time with me." Heavy, man.

Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn't interesting to be around, they she's eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.

In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other "displays" will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.

Here's a profound thought:

I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just because they enjoy being around us.

These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our company.

And yes, these women CALL US. 

Often.

Material gifts, food, flowers, and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you...

An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.

She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants sexual tension...

If you're using compliments, gifts, food, and other "displays" to get a woman's attention... you need to ask yourself a tough question:

Is it because you don't believe that a woman would want to be around you just to be around you?

Because if you don't know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of compensation is going to fix the problem.

If you're boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you're never going to have women calling YOU to hang out.

Oh, and women HATE IT.


7) Not Understanding Attraction

This is a BIGGIE.

You hear me talking about it all the time, right?

Maybe now that you've read this newsletter you'll have a better context to understand what I'm about to tell you...

If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.

Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a guy who "gets it".

Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and women... and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.

Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".

If he doesn't, then she stops all communication on that level.

If he does, then it continues.

ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.

Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction works... and who knows what to do in each specific situation to progress to the next level.

The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS.

They're "counter intuitive", in many cases.

In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop doing something that she likes... give her time to miss you... etc.

And if you don't understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.

And guess what?

Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate on this "other level".

Now that I've shared the mistakes, hope you will improve your dating skills from here.

Dating Skills For Bald Men 

Part 2.  

Asking A Woman Out On A Date

 

I have a question for you...

When you get a woman's number and you're picking up the phone to call and "ask her out", does it bother you?

Do you get freaked out?

Do you start thinking about exactly what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, how to deal with her rejecting you... etc.?

Do you ever get NERVOUS when you're dialing the phone?

You know that feeling when you just start getting anxious for no logical reason, and you just CAN'T control it?

Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you were so damn freaked out... and you just couldn't follow through with it?

OK, now another set of interesting questions...

Have you ever called a woman, and started talking to her, only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY different mood from the last time?

Have you ever had a woman "turn cold" on you all of a sudden?

It's almost like you're talking to a different person from the girl you met just a day or two before... and it makes no sense to you... right?

And finally...

Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten her on the phone, had a great conversation, but when it came time to ask her out, you froze up because you didn't know what to say?

Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of the conversation and asked her out, only to have her answer with:

"Well, maybe... call me Friday afternoon... OK?"

or...

"Actually, I'm going to be busy all this week, but thanks for asking... (silence)"

...?

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you could just TELL that something wasn't right... and that she wasn't going to be taking you up on your date offer, or calling you back at all anytime soon?

So why all the problems?

What is it about this particular few minutes of time that constantly ends in problems for guys?

I personally think that this issue comes down to a few key DEEPER ISSUES.

And I think that if you don't have these other issues "handled", you're going to keep running into problems... and NEVER even know WHY...

...which sucks.

I mean, it's bad enough to keep having a particular problem and not figure out how to solve it... but the idea that the solution is in doing something you would never think of is a little bit maddening.

In other words, I think that this is all about understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING it from coming up... rather than trying to "solve it" in the moment.

Let me put it this way...

If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting to feel nervous, then it's already too late to solve the problem.

No quick fix will help you.

Or if you're on the phone with her and you have just asked her out on a date, and she says "Um, let me call you back in a few days and tell you"... and you start to get that sinking feeling because you know she's blowing you off... IT'S TOO LATE.

There's no "magic pill" at this point.

The answer is PREVENTION.

THE MAGIC FORMULA

So let's take a few minutes and talk about the issues and what CAUSES them.

Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see them...

1) Having no other options.

If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number in your hand, and you haven't been out on a date in a long time, and you are feeling DESPERATE, you're probably going to get VERY nervous.

When you have no other options, the single one in front of you becomes VERY valuable.

Translation: You want it TOO badly.

This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system, because at some level you realize that if you screw this up, it's all over. And you know that it's all going to happen in just an few SECONDS.

The pressure is too much!

2) Putting too much importance on a single woman.

Now, if you have a woman that you've been dating for six months, and you've decided that she's one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance on your relationship with her.

But if you don't know a woman very well, or you haven't even dated her at all, then you are only setting yourself up for major disappointment by putting too much importance on ANY woman.

3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.

This is a HUGE issue.

Most men "unconsciously" behave and communicate like they're trying to IMPRESS the woman of their desires.

When you think about this, it only makes sense... of course you'd want to impress the woman you like... so she'll think you're a cool guy and want to be with you.

But have you ever thought for a moment how an interesting, attractive woman sees it when a guy is TRYING to IMPRESS her?

Well, here's the INSTANT and UNCONSCIOUS response that women have:

"He's trying to hard. There's something wrong. This guy must have something he's trying to hide... and he must be pretty insecure."

In other words, the INSTANT you do something or say something that is an obvious attempt at impressing a woman, her radar system screams:

"WUSSY!"

4) Having expectations and being attached to them.

You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting it too much"... only slightly different.

When you start getting your hopes and expectations up, you begin to get ATTACHED to them.

Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to your little fantasy.

Bad idea.

Women don't date guys who assume too much, act too comfortable, or fall for them too quickly.

Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for them left and right.

In fact, they almost EXPECT guys to go out on one or two dates with them, then say "You know, I really like you..." and other equally predictable sentiments.

Just like being desperate can destroy your chances with a woman, liking a woman too much, too fast, and creating expectations leads to crazy, stupid mistakes as well.

Now, think over what I just said...

I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the problem of freaking out when you call women to ask them out, and the problem of screwing it up when you have that first conversation and ask them out the first time, then you have to go INSIDE first... and do some preventative maintenance on yourself.

And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only good for you, it also helps you get even MORE dates with interesting women.

So here's what to do about this particular problem:

1) Get more options.

If you go out one evening with a couple of friends, and you meet a REALLY hot girl... and you wind up having a fun conversation, and getting her number, what should you do?

RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number. More, if you can.

This way, when you're picking up the phone to call (or sending out emails, or whatever), you've got another woman to call right after her...

In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal. No sweat at all.

Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one situation, go get more options... this will prevent many problems, as well as giving you more women to date!

And think about it... when are you MOST likely to get a woman's phone number? When are you the most likely to be in a great mood that actually ATTRACTS women?

Exactly... in the moments after you've already gotten another woman's number.

So take advantage of this time!

2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with this girl.

I have news for you: Most women have something about their personality, behavior, future plans, etc. that is going to disqualify them from being good "potential mates" for you.

Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwed up", etc.

What I AM saying is that you need to realize that the only reason you're freaking out so much is because your EMOTIONS are running the show.

You need to think about how rare it is that you actually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE with you... that you'd enjoy spending time with even if she wasn’t good-looking.

If you have this in mind as you're dialing the phone, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going on.

You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to his head, either... which is a good thing... because women get weirded-out by this kind of thing.

3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're doing, and then tell her she can come along if she wants.

Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea? Because if you don't have a world-class understanding of male/female dynamics, you're going to come across as a guy who is trying to use food as date-bait.

In other words, if the first thing out of your mouth is "I'd like to take you out to dinner" it's going to be interpreted as "I don't think you're probably going to accept an invitation to spend time with me unless I throw in something extra...".

Weak.

And that's how SHE sees it.

The alternative?

Tell her that you're going to be doing something, and that she should join you.

"Hey, I'm going to go down to local sports bar  to get a drink. You should join me. I'm way more fun than whatever else you were going to do... and that's a fact!"

Extra bonus points:

Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept immediately.

If she hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt and say "Hey, you're the one who's missing out".

I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you don't like to have fun...".

Great stuff!

This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's the right time to use it.

You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked out when calling women for the first time on the phone... and "asking them out".

Now that I understand this particular "moment in time" better, and now that I understand more of the "dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCH better results personally...

In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman "flake out" on me.

Now, in this article I've shared a few points to help you get better results in this particular area. Use them. They'll definitely help you.


I'm confident that it will take your success with women to a whole new level.

Dating Skills For Bald Men 

Part 3.

                              Eliminating Fear Of Being Rejected By A Women

There's a lot of talk about "approach anxiety" when is comes to approaching and meeting someone attractive. My personal belief is that we all too often have actually "rejected" OURSELVES before the potential meeting ever actually happens. This is tragic, because there is a simple yet effective way to make real progress from this kind of self-limitation.

As the title has already telegraphed, what we're talking about here is training yourself how to see yourself as others see you…and then how to see others as they see themselves.

So what does that mean?

You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light through the eyes of ONE of them? You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the laws of physics apply in this life. The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited to some other article that is not about dating and relationships. Fair enough.

But since we ARE focused like a laser on your total, utter and massive success in the dating world-up to and including complete control over your dating life-you'd best believe that there is tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a certain perspective.

So many of us artificially limit ourselves from believing that we can possibly deserve the kind of partner we want. Going way beyond "approach anxiety"…going way beyond "getting beat by a woman" and indeed way beyond anything you've ever heard until now, it can be safely assumed that much of the problem is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see others.

Here's what I mean.

Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears and weaknesses-as well as your strengths, of course-you know all of your own darkest secrets. Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed-every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating embarrassment if others knew.

Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become completely disarmed by a "beautiful" and apparently "perfect" creature of the opposite gender. In your mind, she is flawless.

Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. "Oh man…I could never be in HER league. She's a veritable vision of perfection…and I can't even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring allergies, say stupid things when nervous, chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test."

So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.

Currently, your "vision of perfection" is inside her own state of being thinking, "Man…get yourself TOGETHER! Your underwear is showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact lenses. NO WONDER you've been DATELESS for a MONTH now!"

Crazy stuff, isn't it? If only we could see inside each other's heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others regarding US.

Well, you can't do that, but here are two simple exercises you CAN do:

1) Eliminate private knowledge as a "limiting factor" and take notes regarding how others respond to you

First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are NOT public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so STOP using them against yourself. They do not exist in the minds of others because they CANNOT. Next, consider the comments you receive from people. Where you hear patterns repeated time and again it's time to believe what you are hearing. If pointing to ways you can better yourself, DO SO and deserve what you want. If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize the truly positive manner in which others perceive you. This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over self-perceived "negatives" that we are repeatedly told are POSITIVES? If you think I must be kidding, actively begin to look for clues in your social life where you have previously been oblivious. Note the PATTERNS that you detect, and trust them.

2) Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find attractive

Okay, here's the "power ball". Ready? My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more "perfectly imperfect" than "perfect". The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were THAT PERSON instead of yourself. In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most self-conscious about? Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that concept with sober judgment. You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential attitudes that would make him or her VERY insecure, at least theoretically. Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same time EXACTLY what is making you so hot for this person. It's strange for sure. But it is an EYE OPENER.

What we're really exposing here is a dark corner of human ARROGANCE. We somehow believe that our own self-pronounced judgments both AGAINST ourselves and FOR others somehow carry greater weight than everyone else's, don't we? That's exactly what ends up limiting us, yet really yours or mine is only one of over six billion different perspectives-be it towards ourselves or others. For once, give yourself the gift of seeing things from the point of view of other people. Do so and enjoy the shock when you finally do meet someone who knocks you out…and you realize very quickly as you get to know him or her that many of the insecurities you saw from their potential perspective are actually ACTIVELY present in theirs. And feel the power and joy of being able to share with that person what others-namely YOU-see instead. How cool is that?

Typically, my recurring tune is "deserve what you want" around here. Today you get a breather. Today I've let you in on a secret: You may already deserve WAY, WAY more than you have been giving yourself credit for.

 Hope this will make you feel better about yourself!

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